Psychology Digest-2
Well, here I'm..once again with my psychology digest inspired by the movie Seriel Mom. This movie is a very lighthearted comedy about a woman who murders people who go make her angry by their behaviour....like she kills a couple who loves to eat chicken cause she is a vegetarian! She even batters an old lady to death with a slab of Pork chop cause the old lady had commited the "mistake" of not rewinding a movie tape before returning to the video store! So she keeps killing people and she also happens to be a dotting mother, so the name Seriel mom.
What I like most about the movie is the concept-sometimes the sligtest provocation can create a huge tremor inside our head. It happens to me all the time..I get angry at people at silly points (accor to them, not to me!)...not that I end up killing people but yes I do feel like killing them...like when I visit a goverment office to get some work done(work in a government office!!!) or for that matter when logistic companies mess up with my consignments.
My aunt is even better..she says she has shot many people mentally..they are dead for her...Like aunt, like niece! I have even better ideas. Like the other day I was discussing with my cousin how to kill the person I hate most- she suggested that I shoot the person's legs and hands and finally the head. I thought that was very easy death. My idea is to first pluck off the person's nails one by one, then skin the person alive...if the person is still alive, then boil that person to slow death...If death was an art I would have created a masterpiece..(No doubt, Kill Bill is one of my all time fav movie)..lol
Well I have to admit I am a very violent person at heart. My aunt, being a surgeon, wants to go for a neat murder by shooting her object of hate. I, on the other hand would like to opt for chopping, slashing, hacking as the methodology.
No really, tell me have no one ever felt like killing someone for some weird reason? Am I the only one?
Showing posts with label Psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psychology. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Psychology Digest: Emotional Infedility
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships"----SHARON STONE
COOMING SOON!
COOMING SOON!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Psychology Digest: I spit on your grave
First posted at Myspace..bear with the typos
Date: December, 2005
PSYCHOLOGY DIGEST-1
Sometime back I came across a movie named "I spit on your grave", a pretty old movie with unknown actors in the lead. But during the year of its release and long after it still remains quite a "known" movie. The movie became ill-famous for its brutal rape scenes and even gorier revenge scenes. The title of the movie is very interesting though...It makes me wonder "what makes a person hate another fellow so much that he/she would continue hating the fellow long after that fellow is dead and buried ?" In an attempt to answer this subjective question it might do some good if i start with a more basic question "what triggers off hate?
The answer , according to me, would be "huge disappointments/expectations". I feel they are the two faces of the same coin. We say that we hate our enemies...who are our enemies? Enemies are usually people with whom we had some kind of dealings in the past and when dealings didnot work out our way or according to our expectations, we get disappointed and start disliking the person for not acting the way we wanted him/her to act and maybe, finally hate that person. I know it may sound too simple a reason to trigger off a strong emotion like hate but then again atom is such a tiny thing.
Also there are situations like the one shown in that movie, where the heroine had just "one encounter" with her would be enemies before she start hating them. Usually one-encounter-triggers off-hate happens when we are hugely disappointed with the other party for disturbing/demeaning our "peace/life/convictions/values". There could be many more but the thing to foucs on is "disturbance in personal space- leading- to- disappointments". Like, in the movie the heroine is brutally raped by a group of men the very day she lands up in a small idyllic countryside. Now, a rape victim can have N number of reasons to hate her rapists, but we am concerned about only one of these, which infact is the most baisc one...her expectations from fellow beings of a decent behaviour...that they would be, if not nice to her, atleast wont be mean to her either. But the contrary happens which triggers off huge diappointment and finally hate.
I myself have felt such strong emotion as hate, the basis of which have been expectations/disappointment. I hated my ex (then boyfriend) who left me for reasons of his own. Infact I hated him so much, I thought I should vent all my frustrations through a letter to him; can you guess how the letter was addressed? It read "To the fucking asshole formerly known as boyfriend"... that was long time ago and i never send the letter. But I do have a good laugh when I think how silly I was ! Howvere not all hate can be put in the category of silliness.
Sometimes hate can be so strong that one can completely destroy the person he/she hates or end up hurting oneself. This category of hate could bud from mega desappointment which disturbs the very core of being. This mega dsiappointment must have not only hurt "one view/expectation" but should as well have changed/gave birth to another view/expectation/conviction in the person. ..like in medical terms a "malignant change"
Let me explain this point with the help of the movie. After the protagonist was raped , two things happened. First, her "expectations" from fellow being got damaged completely and secondly, due to this damage , she had a "new view" towards men in general. So, in a way we can say her life changed/ her way of looking at life changed and as long as she maintained those new views she would always be reminded of the past that led to her present state of mind and she would continue hating her rapists. I guess, I have answered the question I asked at the beginning of this post. But there's a part of it which is still left untouched ---the revenge/settle the score part. I guess it happens due to the dissonance created by the old view and the new view clash. Even though a new view has formed in the mind but the old view was so strong that it doesnot go away easily. We start analysing as to what went wrong with our old view or why did the person disappoint us. We also can't accept the fact that our old view was wrong. The mind keeps asking why/how all the time that it decides to uproot the very cause that gave rise to such a dissonance i.e destroy the person that you hate or destroy oneself so that the buzzing in the mind stops !
Date: December, 2005
PSYCHOLOGY DIGEST-1
Sometime back I came across a movie named "I spit on your grave", a pretty old movie with unknown actors in the lead. But during the year of its release and long after it still remains quite a "known" movie. The movie became ill-famous for its brutal rape scenes and even gorier revenge scenes. The title of the movie is very interesting though...It makes me wonder "what makes a person hate another fellow so much that he/she would continue hating the fellow long after that fellow is dead and buried ?" In an attempt to answer this subjective question it might do some good if i start with a more basic question "what triggers off hate?
The answer , according to me, would be "huge disappointments/expectations". I feel they are the two faces of the same coin. We say that we hate our enemies...who are our enemies? Enemies are usually people with whom we had some kind of dealings in the past and when dealings didnot work out our way or according to our expectations, we get disappointed and start disliking the person for not acting the way we wanted him/her to act and maybe, finally hate that person. I know it may sound too simple a reason to trigger off a strong emotion like hate but then again atom is such a tiny thing.
Also there are situations like the one shown in that movie, where the heroine had just "one encounter" with her would be enemies before she start hating them. Usually one-encounter-triggers off-hate happens when we are hugely disappointed with the other party for disturbing/demeaning our "peace/life/convictions/values". There could be many more but the thing to foucs on is "disturbance in personal space- leading- to- disappointments". Like, in the movie the heroine is brutally raped by a group of men the very day she lands up in a small idyllic countryside. Now, a rape victim can have N number of reasons to hate her rapists, but we am concerned about only one of these, which infact is the most baisc one...her expectations from fellow beings of a decent behaviour...that they would be, if not nice to her, atleast wont be mean to her either. But the contrary happens which triggers off huge diappointment and finally hate.
I myself have felt such strong emotion as hate, the basis of which have been expectations/disappointment. I hated my ex (then boyfriend) who left me for reasons of his own. Infact I hated him so much, I thought I should vent all my frustrations through a letter to him; can you guess how the letter was addressed? It read "To the fucking asshole formerly known as boyfriend"... that was long time ago and i never send the letter. But I do have a good laugh when I think how silly I was ! Howvere not all hate can be put in the category of silliness.
Sometimes hate can be so strong that one can completely destroy the person he/she hates or end up hurting oneself. This category of hate could bud from mega desappointment which disturbs the very core of being. This mega dsiappointment must have not only hurt "one view/expectation" but should as well have changed/gave birth to another view/expectation/conviction in the person. ..like in medical terms a "malignant change"
Let me explain this point with the help of the movie. After the protagonist was raped , two things happened. First, her "expectations" from fellow being got damaged completely and secondly, due to this damage , she had a "new view" towards men in general. So, in a way we can say her life changed/ her way of looking at life changed and as long as she maintained those new views she would always be reminded of the past that led to her present state of mind and she would continue hating her rapists. I guess, I have answered the question I asked at the beginning of this post. But there's a part of it which is still left untouched ---the revenge/settle the score part. I guess it happens due to the dissonance created by the old view and the new view clash. Even though a new view has formed in the mind but the old view was so strong that it doesnot go away easily. We start analysing as to what went wrong with our old view or why did the person disappoint us. We also can't accept the fact that our old view was wrong. The mind keeps asking why/how all the time that it decides to uproot the very cause that gave rise to such a dissonance i.e destroy the person that you hate or destroy oneself so that the buzzing in the mind stops !
Psychology Digest: Attack of Max Payne Agents
This piece was posted by me first on Myspace..bear with the typos.
Date: June, 2006
Place: Somewhere in this beautiful world
Time: 11pm
The mobile rings twice and stops... a missed call. As I pick up the phone it again rings twice and stops. Two missed calls! I check the number- its one of my "friends". I get worried and call her back. I ask her "what happened?" She says "(Arre nothing yaar just wanted to chat with u". I say "You could have called" She says" Arre you people are richer than I'm so you can call me anytime" Thats the moment I knew I have been attacked by a Max Payne Agent!
One of the many characteristics of a MPA is that whenever they feel like talking (paining actually) with you, they will give missed calls and save money. This so called friend of mine knew very well that Iwas suffering heavy financial losses during that period and still she had the audacity to label me rich and make me feel uncomfortable. Thats what MPA are best doing at...making the other person feel uncomfortable!
Theres another variant to this "Call" MPA. This particular breed will never call/sms you, they don't understand the basis of friendship "Give n Take". So, by any chance if you happen to call them, they will talk about everything under the sun...you see its your money going down the drain.
The mutant version of "Call"MPA is the most dangerous type. They are the ones who will call you at every odd hours possible and say in asad tone" Can u pls call back?" Hearing his sad tone, You will ofcourse callback. Then will start the story of their woes (how their husband/wife, BF/GF is not treating them well, how the whole world is against them, phalana, phalana). I'm not saying that their woes are not genuine..they are. But the catch is that they will ask you to call them (i.e they will talk with you) only when they are sad or in a bad situation. They wont never remember you in their happy times, but when its gloomy you are the first one in their mind. That kind of sentiment is tolerable once in a while. But what is not tolerable is that they are talking about their woes at your expense (literally). You are awarded the "The Shoulder To Cry On" title along witha Four figure telephone bill!!! . If they really want to talk with you they should be one spending the money and not you- thats my take on it.
Another characteristic of this loathsome agent is to make everyone around him/her uncomfortable with their "observation power". Like once during my engineering college days, all girls in the hostel decided to wear saris for a function. There was a MPA amongst the girls. No sooner had she seen me ina sari, she commented "E, its a nice sari, but I guess it has seen better days" She meant" its an old sari"! (i roll my eyes)
This breed also like to answer on your behalf. Imagine a scene at the party. Someone is asking you "So, What do u do?" If a MPA happens to be nearby she/he will say " XYZ works for ABC company"!The agent seems to know more about you than you yourself do. Thats why they are called "agents" you see.
Just like an investigative agent MPAs too have a lot of curiocity in other people's lives. They will bombard you with their painful questions which you dont feel like answering at all. Their sensitivity chip is definitely missing!. They cant tell if they are suffocating someone with their intrusive nature. They also cant distinguish between a private and a public place.
Once I was traveling by a city bus and bumped into a MPA(imagine my bad luck). She shouts" E, Long Time, how r u?" Even before I could answer her question she shouts back " Heard that you have broken up with your boyfrined?" Is that a question to ask in a public transport?
I knew she did it on purspose, being true to her MPA characteristic of making someone feel uncomfortable. I decided to do something different this time. I asnwered her question with another question" Which boyfriend are you talking about the 4th one or the 5th one?" And you know what she was taken aback by my upfront assault. See, a MPA gets "high" by making someone uncomfortable but if that someone doesnot show any such sings, the agent's enthu just fizzles out.
Another weakness of the MPA is that they cannot bear "pain" even though they thrive in giving pain to others. And I say thats what you should do when attacked by such agents. Once during a trip to a shopping mall along with my classmates, I was attacked by a MPA.
As I was going through some T-shirts, she began to say " this t-shirts are tight fitting it wont look good on you"Ismiled and said " Yeah they are actually meant for AIRSTRIPs like you!" She didnot utter a word again. If she had retorted back" Thats rude" I would have said " If you cant handle comments, dont commnet in the first place".
Handle the missed call category by never calling them back. Lets see how many missed calls can they give. They can give quite a lot (personal experience). In such a case sms them " Dont behave like a psychotic" Now many might say that can ruin the friendship.....darling there is not friendship at all or the person wont pain you this way.
When the "call me back pls" calls you, just ask them" why do u want me to call u back, why dont you talk I am listening" in a normal way. I tell you they will get disturbed by your behaviour and will be carefull from next time.
Best way to tackle the "will never call but will talk n talk when you call" is to never call them. Dont give importance to those who dont deserve it.
There's a kind of Max Payne Agent whose other designation is Boy Friend/ Girl Friend. They can be pretty dangerous and harm you as they have more accessibility to you.
You know you have a Max Payne agent for a girlfriend when she asks questions like " Will you die for me?" How can someone answer questions like that? However, the real catch is that she doesnot want you to answer but wants to see your reaction. If you reply even a few seconds late
she will say in an acerbic/painful way "o.k i got your answer".
A classic situation with most Max Payne Boyfriends is that he will say " Its not working out for us, lets stay apart for sometime" You say as a matter of fact" Yeah I agree". His reaction...icy cold" You met someone?" Whether you agree with him or not , you are still the Vamp!
One of my friends had Max Payne agent as his GF. She left him for another guy, but after one year suddenly send a message through a common friend that her family dog had died and my friend had seen the dog, he must know about it ...Max Payne Agent of the ultimate kind!.
Best way to tackle such BF/GF is to break off the relation. You may love the person, but he/she will always eat up your mind with "Pain" and I 'm guess you do value "peace of mind" more than being in a relationship.
Finally, I would like to say that the best way to protect oneself from the attacks of Max Payne Agents is to wear a coat of indifference all the time.
Date: June, 2006
Place: Somewhere in this beautiful world
Time: 11pm
The mobile rings twice and stops... a missed call. As I pick up the phone it again rings twice and stops. Two missed calls! I check the number- its one of my "friends". I get worried and call her back. I ask her "what happened?" She says "(Arre nothing yaar just wanted to chat with u". I say "You could have called" She says" Arre you people are richer than I'm so you can call me anytime" Thats the moment I knew I have been attacked by a Max Payne Agent!
One of the many characteristics of a MPA is that whenever they feel like talking (paining actually) with you, they will give missed calls and save money. This so called friend of mine knew very well that Iwas suffering heavy financial losses during that period and still she had the audacity to label me rich and make me feel uncomfortable. Thats what MPA are best doing at...making the other person feel uncomfortable!
Theres another variant to this "Call" MPA. This particular breed will never call/sms you, they don't understand the basis of friendship "Give n Take". So, by any chance if you happen to call them, they will talk about everything under the sun...you see its your money going down the drain.
The mutant version of "Call"MPA is the most dangerous type. They are the ones who will call you at every odd hours possible and say in asad tone" Can u pls call back?" Hearing his sad tone, You will ofcourse callback. Then will start the story of their woes (how their husband/wife, BF/GF is not treating them well, how the whole world is against them, phalana, phalana). I'm not saying that their woes are not genuine..they are. But the catch is that they will ask you to call them (i.e they will talk with you) only when they are sad or in a bad situation. They wont never remember you in their happy times, but when its gloomy you are the first one in their mind. That kind of sentiment is tolerable once in a while. But what is not tolerable is that they are talking about their woes at your expense (literally). You are awarded the "The Shoulder To Cry On" title along witha Four figure telephone bill!!! . If they really want to talk with you they should be one spending the money and not you- thats my take on it.
Another characteristic of this loathsome agent is to make everyone around him/her uncomfortable with their "observation power". Like once during my engineering college days, all girls in the hostel decided to wear saris for a function. There was a MPA amongst the girls. No sooner had she seen me ina sari, she commented "E, its a nice sari, but I guess it has seen better days" She meant" its an old sari"! (i roll my eyes)
This breed also like to answer on your behalf. Imagine a scene at the party. Someone is asking you "So, What do u do?" If a MPA happens to be nearby she/he will say " XYZ works for ABC company"!
Just like an investigative agent MPAs too have a lot of curiocity in other people's lives. They will bombard you with their painful questions which you dont feel like answering at all. Their sensitivity chip is definitely missing!. They cant tell if they are suffocating someone with their intrusive nature. They also cant distinguish between a private and a public place.
Once I was traveling by a city bus and bumped into a MPA(imagine my bad luck). She shouts" E, Long Time, how r u?" Even before I could answer her question she shouts back " Heard that you have broken up with your boyfrined?" Is that a question to ask in a public transport?
I knew she did it on purspose, being true to her MPA characteristic of making someone feel uncomfortable. I decided to do something different this time. I asnwered her question with another question" Which boyfriend are you talking about the 4th one or the 5th one?" And you know what she was taken aback by my upfront assault. See, a MPA gets "high" by making someone uncomfortable but if that someone doesnot show any such sings, the agent's enthu just fizzles out.
Another weakness of the MPA is that they cannot bear "pain" even though they thrive in giving pain to others. And I say thats what you should do when attacked by such agents. Once during a trip to a shopping mall along with my classmates, I was attacked by a MPA.
As I was going through some T-shirts, she began to say " this t-shirts are tight fitting it wont look good on you"
Handle the missed call category by never calling them back. Lets see how many missed calls can they give. They can give quite a lot (personal experience). In such a case sms them " Dont behave like a psychotic" Now many might say that can ruin the friendship.....darling there is not friendship at all or the person wont pain you this way.
When the "call me back pls" calls you, just ask them" why do u want me to call u back, why dont you talk I am listening" in a normal way. I tell you they will get disturbed by your behaviour and will be carefull from next time.
Best way to tackle the "will never call but will talk n talk when you call" is to never call them. Dont give importance to those who dont deserve it.
There's a kind of Max Payne Agent whose other designation is Boy Friend/ Girl Friend. They can be pretty dangerous and harm you as they have more accessibility to you.
You know you have a Max Payne agent for a girlfriend when she asks questions like " Will you die for me?" How can someone answer questions like that? However, the real catch is that she doesnot want you to answer but wants to see your reaction. If you reply even a few seconds late
she will say in an acerbic/painful way "o.k i got your answer".
A classic situation with most Max Payne Boyfriends is that he will say " Its not working out for us, lets stay apart for sometime" You say as a matter of fact" Yeah I agree". His reaction...icy cold" You met someone?" Whether you agree with him or not , you are still the Vamp!
One of my friends had Max Payne agent as his GF. She left him for another guy, but after one year suddenly send a message through a common friend that her family dog had died and my friend had seen the dog, he must know about it ...Max Payne Agent of the ultimate kind!.
Best way to tackle such BF/GF is to break off the relation. You may love the person, but he/she will always eat up your mind with "Pain" and I 'm guess you do value "peace of mind" more than being in a relationship.
Finally, I would like to say that the best way to protect oneself from the attacks of Max Payne Agents is to wear a coat of indifference all the time.
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